An example would be telling someone how sorry you are that you stole from them and actually giving back what you took. New Life House has helped young men stay sober for over 35 years. We came from very humble beginnings, and would love to tell you our story of success and recovery.
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By making direct amends to the person harmed the temptation to skirt the issue because of embarrassment or pain is avoided. Step 9 is another one of the 12 steps, that initially appears most difficult, but the rewards of putting this principle into practice can be immense. The spiritual principle involved is that of forgiveness, not only from others but forgiveness of self, which can bring healing to both parties. It’s really hard to apologize to those you’ve hurt — it takes courage and humility and requires a deep, intense look at yourself.
How to Complete Step 9 of AA
Also, you should never attempt to make amends where doing so is likely to cause further harm, such as making direct amends to someone you injured in a drunk driving accident. Instead, consider becoming an organ donor, or donating to charities that support victims of drunk drivers. At Boardwalk Recovery Center, we support clients through the steps and encourage them to make amends when appropriate to restore their relationships and sense of morality. Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith, the two men who founded AA in 1935, drew their inspiration for the Twelve Steps from the Oxford Group. The Twelve Steps and the fellowship of AA were founded and designed around those principles.
How Many Times Is God Mentioned in the 12 Steps?
Working through Step 9 allows you to move forward, regardless of how others respond. What happens when an attempt to correct your wrongs may cause further harm? For instance, substance use impacts a parent’s relationships with their children, but making amends to them should never be in a language or explanation which is beyond their comprehension.
When and Why Do People Make Living Amends?
While it’s true that the 12 Steps were originally based on the principles of a spiritual organization, the world isn’t the same as it was in 1935 when AA and the 12 Step program were founded. The living amends word “God” was eventually replaced with “Higher Power” to be more accessible to everyone, regardless of faith traditions or beliefs. What you believe to be a Higher Power is a very personal thing.
